[opening theme music]
Will somebody please cue that bird?
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats Oooh yeah ♪
Who do you call When you want some pepperoni?
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats Right on♪
♪ They're stepping out crime
And you know That ain't baloney♪
♪ There's Speedy Cerviche
He's the leader of the bunch That's right! ♪
♪ A heck of a fighter Makes a heck of a lunch♪
♪ And little Polly Esther
Who's never afraid That's me♪
♪ Of going into battle When the bad guys invade♪
♪ Here's Guido Anchovy He's a wild romantic rover♪
♪ This cat gets knocked down With a love hangover♪
♪ Here come the Pizza Cats♪
♪ They're so bad Ta Da!♪
♪ They got more fur Than any turtle ever had♪
♪ Stronger than old cheese! Stronger than old cheese?♪
♪ Stronger than dirt! Stronger than dirt!♪
♪ If you step on their tails Get off my tail!♪
♪ And you're gonna get hurt Don't hurt me♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ They're fighting crime All over town!♪
♪ Three, two, one♪
♪ Pizza Cats are on the run♪
♪ The Big Cheese is the villain♪
♪ Whose lower than low♪
♪ It's a rotten shame♪
♪ He lives in Little Tokyo♪
♪ We've got a nasty Bad Bird♪
♪ And some nasty ninja crows♪
♪ As soon as someone Finds the script
We might begin the show♪
♪ Sit right back kick up your feet♪
♪ Turn the sound up high♪
♪ And if you want the full effect♪
♪ Go eat a pizza pie!♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
[narrator] In our last episode
the Pizza Cats were humiliated
by The Rude Noise.
-No, we weren't. -Oh, yes, you were.
[screaming]
[narrator] The trouble began
with the launching of the Sunblock 16 robot
device by Bad Bird
to create a total solar eclipse.
Deprived of the sun's energy,
the Pizza Cats were too weak
to combat The Rude Noise's heavy metal robot.
Polly, Guido and Speedy
decided their wisest cause of action
would be to lie down and wait until they felt better.
It wasn't until late that night
that they were strong enough to crawl back to Little Tokyo
to report to Francine.
[Francine] You guys look like something the cat dragged in.
Prepare to launch
I'm sending you out to get your batteries recharged.
[Francine] Place your bets, ladies and gentlemen,
which way are we gonna go?
[Speedy] Where are you sending us, Francine?
To Guru Lu he knows what to do.
There's nothing to it.
He'll have you recharged in no time at all.
Trust me.
[explosions]
Look at them taking off in the middle of the night
without any headlights. They're crazy.
Well, all of us are a little crazy
or we wouldn't be in this cartoon.
Well, at least we're getting some good exposure.
We might get our own series out of this.
Don't hold your breath.
It's scary having to glide like this
without our own solar power.
I can't stop thinking about
the law of gravity, you know what I mean, Speedy?
Hmm-mm.
[narrator] The Sunblock 16 robot
continues shading the solar panel rays,
leaving the Pizza Cats
utterly helpless.
The sun went down hours ago, stupid.
It isn't fair. The bad guys always
have some kind of mechanical monster
to do their dirty work.
Right! We'll tell the producer
if we don't get some help
on this show we're gonna walk.
[narrator] Faced with a walk out
by the three stars of this series,
the producer has called
a hasty starry conference
and has order the writers
to come up with a robot to assist the heroes.
But that left nobody on hand to write this next scene.
Now you've done it.
We're flying straight into that mountain
without a script to tell us what to do.
Don't be silly, Guido,
we're the good guys. They wouldn't let us crash.
[screaming]
Bring back the writers
I'll never complain again.
[screaming]
[narrator] The next morning as the sun rises
over[indistinct].
Big Cheese is celebrating.
Altogether now,
let's have three cheers for the Big Cheese.
Hooray for me!
[chanting]
♪ I'm the baddest of the bad♪
♪ There never been a bigger cat--
Alright, you're really awesome.
I'd join you but I've got a bad back.
He thinks he's got a bad back.
Let him try this for 24 hours nonstop.
Wait, you ain't seen nothing yet, folks.
[Bad Bird] Wait until you see this baby
when he really goes to work.
[dramatic music]
[narrator] The maul of a limp mechanical monster
maneuvers his mighty magnifiers.
the world is in for a hot foot.
[dramatic music]
[screaming]
How's the weather folks?
Hot enough for you?
[suspenseful music]
[male citizen] We shouldn't have used those
floral carbon deodorant sprays.
[female citizen] I think you could use some right now.
[narrator] The whole city is ignited
and the Big Cheese is delighted.
Hip hip hooray!
There's a hot time
in the old time tonight
Hooray! Burn baby burn!
[Jerry Atric] I hope you're satisfied.
You've turned the whole city
into a giant solar powered wok.
[laughing]
[squeals]
Well, there goes the neighborhood.
[narrator] Back at the mystery shrouded
mount Kuchi
the Pizza Cats await an audience
with their technical adviser.
I can't believe we're actually gonna meet
Guru Lu. Everybody says he's the wisest
man in the universe.
[annoyed] I'm not impressed.
If he's such a wise guy
what's he doing working on our stupid show?
He's sensitive, creative,
has a great sense of humor
and he's a really smooth dancer.
[giggles excitedly]
You're confused Polly. We're not meeting Paul Newman.
Huh? I guess I got carried away.
But I can't help it!
[yells]
[moaning in pain]
[weakly] You know sometimes
I wish I listened to my mother
and become a certified public accountant.
If you think I'm going to get you out of this mess
you're out of your minds.
I'm running a business here!
Not a nonprofit public service!
Do you have any idea what my overhead is?
Huh? You're supposed to be a good guy.
Wrong. I'm not just a good guy
I'm the best and that means my services don't come cheap.
Every Tom, Dick and Pizza Cat
that comes down the pipe gives me a sob story
about the world being doomed if I don't build a super robot.
But they never want to pay for it.
-I don't believe it! -You're a phony.
Oh yeah?
[Huh?
Read my eyelids!
No new robots!
-Got it? -I thought he was a hero.
He's a villain!
I never was one of the good guys
it's just a press story my agent gave out.
Now get out or I'm gonna come down
on you like a ton of bricks!
Polly!
Alright, bozo! If that's the way you want it
then that's how you're gonna get it!
[muffled] Oh boy, that was a definite ouch.
[Guido] Guru Lu was a crashing disappointment.
What do we do now?
We have to figure out a way
to persuade him to help us out.
Otherwise we're doomed.
[Polly] I'll show you how to persuade him!
I'll punch his lights out!
[Speedy] Polly control yourself!
Stand back you guys!
Alright, already!
No! No! No!
[Guido] Pretty persuasive argument, Polly.
I'm sorry. I guess I lost my temper.
Here's the deal.
There's only one way to persuade me
but you have to guess what it is.
If logic and violence don't work, what will?
We could try begging and whining.
[whiny voice] Oh please help us, Guru Lu!
-Pretty please. -With sugar on it.
If you don't help us
I'm gonna keep sobbing until I drive you nuts!
[narrator] Meanwhile back in Little Tokyo
everything's booming,
except business at the restaurant.
I better call my hairdresser
and cancel my appointment.
[Guido] What's it gonna take
to make this guy happy?
At your service, mighty one.
The housekeeping's done guru.
What else can I do?
And I've prepared all your favorite food.
Come and get it!
Let me shine your shoes.
Would you like a massage?
Anything to make you happy.
Talk about polishing your apple.
So, will you help us out, Lu?
No! How many times do I have to tell you?
How many times does he have to tell us?
What does Guru Lu want us to do?
If he thinks I'm gonna give up
he doesn't know who he's dealing with!
[Guru Lu] You're wasting your time.
I told you there's only one way
to convince me and you haven't guessed
what it is.
Believe me you might as well give up.
Get it over with.
Alright, I know when I'm licked.
-I give up. -Hmm-mm.
That's it. Now that you've given up,
I know you really need me.
Wow!
I'm proud of you Speedy. You've mastered the philosophy
of accepting defeat.
That's some philosophy.
Boy, what a ding-a-ling.
[Guru Lu] Before I can turn the super robot over to you,
you'll have to prove that you're worthy.
You'll have to pass
the excruciating clothes pin test
to demonstrate your courage,
your intelligence, your wisdom
and your ability to withstand pain.
[Speedy] I beg your pardon?
[Guru Lu] Prepare to begin the battle.
[shrieks] Begin the battle with who?
[Guru Lu] With me of course. I'm challenging you to a duel.
En garde!
[Guru Lu] Prepare to defend yourself.
He's gone over the edge.
Be prepared for anything.
There's no telling what he's gonna do.
Ready, aim.
[narrator] What diabolical scheme is Gurulu plotting?
And will the Pizza Cats be equal to the test?
Golly, this is exciting!
Guru Lu has challenged the Pizza Cats to a duel.
Here, these are your weapons.
[Polly] Cards? What do we do with these?
We're gonna play poker.
Huh?
That's our big test?
We're gonna play a game of poker?
You gotta be out of your card flinging mind!
No, as the challenger I pick the weapons.
Now here are the rules.
We're gonna play straight draw poker
nothing wild, Jacks are better to open
but how many cards do you want.
You gotta be kidding?
I never kid and I never bluff.
[Guru Lu] Read them and weep. A straight flush.
That means you wear the clothes pins.
[screaming]
This isn't a hand, it's a finger.
Same here.
[laughing]
You're not very lucky, are you?
I'm glad I have lots of clothes pins.
[screaming in pain]
[crying out in pain]
[laughing]
Well, it looks like you fellows lose.
I'm sure Polly can't be beat.
Don't count your chickens before they hatch
you haven't won yet.
What?
[laughing]
[Polly] I've got a royal flush!
[screaming]
Forgive me, I'm a sensitive person.
So I've heard.
You're also creative,
have a great sense of humor
and you're a really smooth dancer.
I've read your horoscope.
[Guido] Let's get back to the subject, Lu.
Are you gonna give us the robot or and you?
No, I want to play another game of poker.
Give me a chance to get even.
No, we've had enough of your silly games!
We need that robot now!
[Guru Lu] Chill out, will you?
I've already built the robot
I hid it away, for safe keeping.
[Speedy] Where did you hide it?
It's right up there.
On top of the mountain!
That was stupid.
How are we supposed to get up there?
[Guru Lu] No problem, trust me.
[Jerry Atric] We've got to talk Big Cheese,
there's something really bothering me.
What's wrong?
I'll tell you what's wrong.
It's the way you've been dressing lately.
I'm ashamed to be seen with you
in public. Every time we go to the mall people point.
Of course people point.
They're admiring
the fashion statement I'm making.
Well, we got that settled.
This is the most boring gig I've ever played.
Maybe I can scope out some chicks.
[narrator] Back up mount Kuchi
a bag of hot air is rising through the air
is rising through the clouds.
It's Guru Lu and the Pizza Cats.
[gasps]
[Guido] What's the name of that mountain again?
Kuchi.
[Polly] Gazuntite.
[Speedy] Look, a guardian angel
with a Samurai Pizza Cat!
I built the statue to protect the super robot.
It's sealed up inside it.
Alright!
[narrator] The Pizza Cats actions do not go undetected.
Hi above, aboard the Sunblock 16 robot,
Bad Bird watches their every move.
Right, let's get a closer look.
[Bad Bird] Who do they think they are dealing with?
They can't fool me with that old trick
of hiding a robot in a statue.
[Bad Bird] Nobody is stupid enough to fall for that.
Pretty clever.
Nobody would think of looking inside
a statue for a robot.
Hey, that was a short day.
It's that Sunblock 16 robot.
Bad Bird must have spotted us.
Here we go again, we've lost our solar energy.
Don't you just hate it when that happens?
Don't be such a worry wart.
We don't have to be afraid
of Bad Bird with Guru Lu's super robot protecting us.
Hey Bad Bird!
[making mocking noises]
You three think you're pretty cute, don't you?
Give me full power on the lasers, Scotty!
[fast paced music]
[screaming]
[Guru Lu] Oh no! Oh no! [screams]
Guru Lu! You didn't tell us
how to activate the robot!
[Polly] Don't look now,
but we've got company.
[screaming]
-Oh no, it's The Rude Noise. -Great.
[growling angrily]
[fast paced music]
Lu, where's our robot?
Hurry, hurry!
I wonder where the heck Lu disappeared to.
That's how it goes
you can never find a guru when you need one.
I'm going after the robot!
Cover me!
What did he say?
Here, Speedy! I've been waiting for you!
The Ginzu!
If you don't mind, I can use a little help here.
Alright.
Let me at them. I'll give them a taste
of my Ginzu sword.
What?
[dramatic music]
Holy Spielberg!
Is this the last crusade
of Indiana Pizza Cat?
Whoa!
[narrator] You want to talk about a splitting headache?
this poor guy takes the prize.
Everybody is shocked into still frame,
at the incredible sight
of a golden Spinx
rising before them.
Which only goes to prove,
you can give a cat a tonic.
But you can't make him blink.
That narrator is a blabbering idiot!
I know, that's what you get
at our pay scale.
[Polly] Look that golden Spinx
super robot is preparing to roar into action.
[loud roar]
[fast paced music]
[terrified screaming]
[laughs] Go get them boy!
[narrator] The flying robot,
just launched by the golden Spinx
are about to perform a highly metaphysical
technically un-explainable transformation.
Requiring such awesome special effects
you'll think you're witnessing
a head on collision between
Pink Floyd and Judas Priest!
So fasten your seat belts folks.
[dramatic music]
[dramatic music intensifies]
[narrator] And just when you thought
you'd seen it all,
still another transformation takes place,
turning Speedy, Guido and Polly
into super extra topping Pizza Cats!
[Guido] I feel fantastic!
[Speedy] I feel totally invincible!
[Polly] I have to go to the bathroom.
Very impressive,
but let's see how you handle this!
[energetic music]
[Speedy] Hit your booster rockets!
Now activate your separators
and assume attack formation!
[Guido] Where did you pick up all that military jargon?
[Polly] He saw Top Gun five times.
[Speedy] We'll take that robot apart,
piece by piece.
I wasn't designed for this kind of action.
It's like using a weight for a fly swatter!
[Polly] We've got him now!
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
[Polly] We've disarmed him!
This is a tumble dryer!
Now it's my turn!
[narrator] Bad news for Bad Bird
it's the magical Ginzu sword.
[screaming]
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
[narrator] And the Samurai Pizza Cats triumph again!
It's all in a day's work folks!
[laughs]
[narrator] And now we're coming
from the losers' corner.
What? The Pizza Cats have won again?
Stand back I think I'm gonna blow a fuse!
[explosion]
How do you like that Guru Lu?
He took credit for building
the super robot but actually he only found it.
He's nothing but a phony.
[narrator] He's right. The robot was actually built
by an ancient civilization
that was so advanced
they blew themselves out of existence.
Here's something else
from that ancient civilization.
I wonder what they used this for.
If I keep finding stuff,
I might get a running role on this show.
Oh, Guru Lu I just had to come back and thank you.
Gosh. [shy laugh]
[Guido] I had my doubts but I got to admit,
Guru Lu, you really are a genius.
Please feel free to call on me
in future episodes.
Maybe I can even negotiate
a percentage deal.
[laughs]
[narrator] Once again, the purveyors of pizza power
have prevailed and the forces of truth,
justice and pepperoni
have floored the Big Cheese.
But will the bad guys make a comeback?
Will Guru Lu be cast
in a running role on the series?
And if so, will he get a better
parking space than I have?
Excuse me, I need to go read the small print in my contract.
On the next...
Pizza Cats!
[narrator] Little Tokyo is a buzz with excitement
as the Pizza Cats release
their first ever portfolio of portraits.
They are an instant success
and people travel from miles around
just to get a hold of one.
Oh, no you don't!
I saw that one first!
Of course, Big Cheese is not pleased
with this development.
It becomes painfully obvious
to him that his popularity
is waning in Little Tokyo
and it completely blows his mind.
Meanwhile the Pizza Cats' new star status
takes its toll as egos start to flare.
But enjoyment of their popularity
is short lived, as big Al Dente
calls on the Pizza Cats to stop Big Cheese's plan
to steal the spotlight
by having Bad Bird attack the city
with a terrible robot.
And allow Big Cheese to appear and save the day.
Will Big Cheese succeed
in turning his public image around?
Will our heroes be able to stop
the destruction of the city?
Will Polly use her picture
t to get a new agent, move to Hollywood
and begin starring in B movies?
Find out the answer in
those transforming felines.
On the next Samurai Pizza Cat!
[narrator] Ladies and gentlemen,
the Samurai Pizza Cat Fan Club oath:
The Pizza Cats are samurai.
And I'd like to note,
their antics take your breath away
like fur balls in your throat.
We kittens are a special breed,
we never call retreat.
Whenever Big Cheese knocks us down,
we land upon our feet.
[narrator] So hail to the old Pizza Cats
please ring your little bell.
Although you may be pen and ink,
we know you'll fight like
Pizza Cats!
[ending theme music]
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ We hope you liked the show
it's the best that we could do♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ If you could do better
then we'll leave it up to you♪
♪ Just a reminder You might like to know♪
♪ The cats will be back
for another big show♪
[laughing]
♪ Oh gosh♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ They're fighting crime Oh yes!♪
♪ All over town♪
[laughing]
♪ Two, four, six, eight♪
♪ Why do we exaggerate?♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ Read all the credits♪
♪ So you'll know Who did the work♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪